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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24973540">Forged In Fire</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepetulantpen/pseuds/thepetulantpen'>thepetulantpen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Tumblr Snippets [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Found Family, Gen, Self-Harm, cross-posted from my tumblr, episode 72-centric, just the stuff that canonically happens in 72</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 00:53:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>495</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24973540</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepetulantpen/pseuds/thepetulantpen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Fjord's revelations, during episode 72.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Tumblr Snippets [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1807582</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Forged In Fire</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>One more time for safety sake: <strong>self-harm trigger warning</strong>! There's a description of the self-harm that happens in episode 72- please don't read if it's not safe for you!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Everything Fjord had built up until now had been used as armor. The accent, the sword, the powers.</p>
<p>It wrapped around his torso in a tight, harsh embrace, material unmoving with his chest. The solid wall of leather and metal was fitted enough to numb sensation, cutting off nonessential nerves. He could breathe most days, even when his lungs strained to expand in the limited space, and he knew he was always protected. It was confined, but it was <em>fine</em>.</p>
<p>Nothing could pierce that armor, not enough to destroy him.</p>
<p>He could take it off, of course. He <em>does</em> take it off, when it all falls limp and powerless as a simple material layer of insignificance.</p>
<p>Fjord takes it off so he can feel the blade sink into his chest.</p>
<p>One step, one inch.</p>
<p>Two steps, two inches.</p>
<p>Three steps, three inches.</p>
<p>He sees the void for a second, vision wavering dangerously at the edge of destruction. There’s nothing there for him, not any more than there is now in this party, to which he can offer nothing.  </p>
<p>Blood drips sluggishly down his chest, red and alive still, against the odds. It reminds him of many things, memories clashing and talking over each other.</p>
<p>
  <em>“How much damage are you willing to take?”</em>
</p>
<p>Fjord breathes and feels his chest rise further than it could with the armor on, feels the smoke fill his lungs fully. And yet-</p>
<p>There’s still a painful twinge as the muscles beneath his wound move. His breath stutters.</p>
<p>He sees blood swirling in water. A cut palm, a hole in his chest.</p>
<p>The magma bubbles. Miniature explosions, right before his eyes.</p>
<p>He sees water rushing between splintered planks, a toppled mast and violent waves. He hears something exploding, the impact shattering life as he knew it.</p>
<p>It’s enough. The pain, the-</p>
<p>Everything. It’s <em>enough</em>.</p>
<p>Fjord has never been one to do things half-assed. He makes good on his threat, hears the sizzle, and goes back to bed.</p>
<p>The hole in chest, the physical one, heals over. Caduceus’ eyes are so kind, but his mind can’t settle, can’t sleep.</p>
<p>He feels like shit in the morning but he <em>feels</em>.</p>
<p>It’s different. There’s… nothing there. Nothing between him and everything. No darkness, no cold.</p>
<p>No armor.</p>
<p>When he speaks, it’s him. There’s no one else- no Vandren, no Uk'otoa - to intercept the warmth of the Mighty Nein.</p>
<p>He gets to feel it all, take it all in for himself.</p>
<p>The glove against his hand, the heat of the fire. Warm, warm, <em>warm</em>- not like the dark water.</p>
<p>The weight of an axe, a whip. The lightness of a dagger. The protection of a shield. The absurdity of a bag of drugs.</p>
<p>He’s Fjord. This is his family.</p>
<p>They can do anything. Make it work, somehow. They can free him, find new magic, <em>protect</em> him in a way that armor never could have.</p>
<p>They’ll start by having breakfast together- does he want breakfast?</p>
<p>“Yes, please.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I'm cross-posting all my old stuff from my Tumblr, since I'm not very active there anymore. This is pretty old, but I figured I'd archive it anyway, for posterity sake. It was written in the early morning hours (in my time zone) after watching episode 72, so it's very stream of consciousness. </p>
<p>Hope you enjoyed this short, old piece!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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